This Is How I See You (as your doula)

reach deep into the universe to touch your baby's soul

Brilliantly, perfectly timed convergence of two souls having found each other against all odds are surfacing from the depths of human existence. Your body now breathes and nourishes the tiny being that develops inside you. In this time, there is no beginning and no end, the two of you are one. But soon, at exactly the right moment, the baby will turn to you and speak to your subconscious mind and the Earth will shift with you. Your body prepares, you may be unaware of the shift that has taken place, but not for long.

In this time, there is no beginning and no end, the two of you are one.

You have destined for this occasion even before your own birth inside of your mother’s womb. As you were developing everything was falling into place for your time. Your very existence is proof that the complex passage that must take place is confirmed. Your body is hard wired to know precisely how and when to bring forth this tiny creature inside.

You squeeze against your baby as he wriggles and extends for he too knows what must be done. Squeezing, pressing, hugging then relaxing, resting, rebuilding in succession, each cycle building on the next. You breathe in strength and vision; you exhale doubt and reality. Your movements liken that of a graceful swan while the strength and power come from the lioness inside of you.

You begin to pull energy from every corner of the room. Your power demands attention. While strong and capable you are, you are also fragile and vulnerable. Your skin has softened and glistens with the sweat of your labor. Your eyes are filled with determination as they beg to answer “can I do this?” Your timing has quickened and the waves of force begin to build. You turn inward and go to a place inside of you that you never knew existed until now.

While strong and capable you are, you are also fragile and vulnerable.

The tango between you and your baby has reached a pace that is barely sustainable. It grabs your every breath; it’s all you can do to force the air from between your lips. You surrender to the realm of which you are not sure you can return. And you are right, once you have been there you will never be the same. You reach deep into the depths of the universe and with all your strength and might begin to pull as your body pushes. And in time with the crescendo of your rushes the soul of your baby is pulled into him as your body forces him from you. But a small intangible piece of him will always remain inside of you, and you in him. The world catches its breath as the two of you make the transition. You, now a mother.  Him, now an earth dweller.

Heidi ShulistaThis Is How I See You (as your doula)

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