I Make No Apologies For My Realness

messy kitchen covered in dishes

This is the current state of my kitchen. Yes, that’s the sink under there. Now I don’t have much of an excuse other than I just haven’t felt like doing the dishes lately. Unfortunately, my husband has felt the same! haha. But this is real life for most moms especially new moms. Now, let me paint a picture for you to help you understand what a doula can do for a new mom.

Yes, that’s the sink under there.

Picture this: Mom and baby (or babies) have been home from the hospital for a week now. Dad has gone back to work full-time. She’s exhausted. Physically she hurts, and emotionally she’s a mess. Her hormones are crazy, she’s trying to figure out how to feed her baby (either breastfeeding or formula – both can be challenging!), and to top it off- she’s starving.

She walks into the kitchen and its a mess! She doesn’t even have space to fix a sandwich so she grabs a piece of bread because now baby is crying from hunger, again. She sits down to feed baby and eat her slice of bread (yum). Baby falls asleep so she decides to do the same. The mess in the kitchen remains.

Mom and baby wake up an hour or two later and she is now very hungry and thirsty. So, she wanders into the kitchen again. “The mess is still here?! I’ll just order takeout.” This goes on for a week and mom just can’t get into a routine and figure out how to care for her new baby and her postpartum self. Much less, the house.  Her husband comes home from work and helps with the baby but not much else because he, too, is exhausted. They share a few choice words with each other over the mess of the house but nothing changes.


The new mom in our story can now sleep when baby sleeps and when she wakes up the dishes will be CLEAN! The kitchen counters will be CLEAN! Her doula can help her plan ahead for meals and snacks so she can eat decently and save some money she’s been spending on fast food. Her postpartum doula can help her get into a new routine. The doula also keeps her company as she spends her days without her husband or other helpful family members.

Her and her husband can enjoy a few peaceful moments together when he gets home and the stress from the messy kitchen is gone. Now, they can focus on each other. Their doula can even spend a night caring for the baby so the couple can get a full night of sleep! What?! Can you imagine getting 7+ hours of sleep with a newborn!? Its possible if you hire a postpartum doula to care for your family!

A messy kitchen is so much more than a messy kitchen. It can be a huge burden and stress for many new parents. It means eating unhealthy foods because you’d rather have your fast food delivered than cook a meal and add to the pile of dishes. It means an unsanitary place to prepare a bottle or wash your breast pump parts. It means husband and wife are frustrated with each other because neither of them have the energy to take care of the house. Mentally- it’s just one more thing to think about.

You can apply this to many different aspects of new parenthood – not just a messy kitchen. Maybe its laundry that overwhelms you or meal prepping or deciding whether or not you should continue breastfeeding. As a new mom, maybe you just need someone to sit with you for a few hours during the day and tell you you’re doing a good job!

If you have a new baby (or babies) and your helpful visitors are now gone and your husband is back to work and you’re struggling to find your new ‘normal’ we’re here to help!! Whether you want some help for a week or 3 months we will be there!!

Authored by Amber Floyd– Labor and Postpartum and Infant Care Doula

Heidi ShulistaI Make No Apologies For My Realness

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