I Have Felt Judgment As a Mom And That Makes Me a Better Doula

My son is circumcised.

I know. This post is already taboo but it’s true.

My husband and I chose to circumcise our son when I was just a few months pregnant. I had heard a lot of backlash about the procedure in the weeks leading up to finding out our child’s gender but when it came down to it, my husband wanted his boy circumcised and I didn’t really have a strong opinion either way.

Before our beautiful baby was born, I read a few blogs about different methods and met with a great pediatrician. At just 2 days old, we headed to the pediatrician for a check up and the procedure. Five minutes away from him and he was our happy smiley, baby. It was a five minute procedure but it’s a decision that I think about and come back to often. 

No one ever said to my face,

” how dare you” but I read it.

The reason for this? Not because it was traumatic, not because we had a horrible experience, and not because anything happened after the fact. The reason is because I was judged for this choice. No one ever said to my face, ” how dare you” but I read it. I read the opinions in blogs, in Facebook posts and in mommy groups. I read the, “you’re a bad mom if,” comments and although I didn’t take it to heart, it hurt. Knowing that someone out there thought that I was a bad mother because I made this decision and, honestly, took the decision making process lightly, broke my heart.

Thankfully these judgements didn’t change the way I parent and didn’t make me love my child any less. What they did was make me stronger. They made it easier for me to relate to the women I work with and more empathetic to all mothers.

It is no easy task to be a parent. A helpless human being is depending on you for every single arbitrary thing. You have to make very adult and fairly scary decisions every single day about how to keep this human alive.

The internet is bursting at the seams with opinions about every.single.choice. you could ever make in your parenting journey. As a doula, I’m here to say “good job mom.” I’m here, looking at a mother who chose to circumcise her son, saying “good job mom.” I’m here, looking at a mother who chose not to circumcise her son, saying, “good job mom.”

I don’t care what choices you make in regards to raising a happy and healthy child. I will not pass judgement and I will not make you feel ashamed. I will support you, love you and embrace you as the parent you are now. 

My son is circumcised and I’m proud to be his mother.

Authored by Samantha Moore– labor and postpartum doula as part of the World Doula Week Blog Challenge

Disclaimer: Some parents decide to circumcise, some decide to keep their son intact. We support people, not agendas. These choices have no bearing on us as doulas. We do the same job for all of our clients. We show the same commitment, compassion, professionalism, and support equally to all.

Heidi ShulistaI Have Felt Judgment As a Mom And That Makes Me a Better Doula

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